Should Mother's Be Held Responsible When Their Boyfriends Harm Their Children
Mothers need to be careful when choosing a mate after parting from their childrens' father. A little boy was killed by his mother's live-in boyfriend on his 4th birthday. Her family was on the news publicly condemning the boyfriend. They are totally correct. Does she bear some responsibility for her son's death? Are mother's responsible for choosing a mate that will love and care for their child? Her family said that he was an evil person and anti-social. If the family knew he was a bad person before today, why didn't she know what kind of person he was?
Several years ago the police superintendent of Chicago publicly criticized a mother whose child was shot in a van because someone was aiming at her boyfriend, who is a known drug dealer. He said that she was responsible for her child being shot. She demanded an apology and I believe he refused. I think that he was correct. She endangered her child by not only associating with a known drug dealer but she was dating him. I think she bore some responsibility.
My mother always told me to be weary of the company you keep. She told me to surround myself with nice, kind and loving people who don't get into trouble. You can pick up the newspaper on any given day and read stories about boyfriends abusing their girlfriends' children. Ladies, lets do a better job choosing a man. Our children deserve it!
I think that she should be charged with child endangerment. She choose this man as her boyfriend and she choose to live with him. She has to bear some responsibility. As a mother, she has to keep her children safe. If your child gets hurt in your home and you don't know exactly how it happened, you may be investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services. Parents know that children may get hurt playing with siblings or may take a tumble down the stairs and these things are unavoidable. Getting beat to death on your 4th birthday by your mother's boyfriend is avoidable! I don't believe that the boyfriend has never demonstrated violent behavior before beating the boy. If the mother claims to not have seen this side of him, then she needs to be banned from dating until her children are grown because she does not know how to choose a man.
Even though I am expressing my strong opinions about this issue, my heart truly goes out to the family of this child. May God bless this family!
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As a mother who has been in the position of meeting new men, you are absolutely right. There is no way a previously nice, gentle man just up and beats a child to death. She had to know something was wrong. Our children and their safety and happiness are our first priority. Finding a suitable man can take time
ReplyDelete, but it's worth the search. This type of story is too common. It breaks my heart. - RP
If the man had been her husband, would you feel the same way? Of course not. Stop condemning women for having boyfriends, and stop pushing for it to be a crime to be the mother of an injured child. This is so anti-woman that I could puke.
ReplyDeleteOh shut up!! I have had my slutty mother let her townie bf hit me so hard it left a very bad bruise and many other times even tho we wer never hold kids and he was lucky he got anywhere near such good kids from a better family than his shithole and any woman hu can see her kids get hit by any1 especially a guy who hits so hard it leaves a bruise and he isn't even ur dad is a fucking evil spineless bitch men r better tbh women are cowards I'm a woman bt I h8 bein one cus so many sluts like my mother and other women give genuiy nice girls like me a bad name and also yes u say if it was the father this wouldn't be a issue yes I had an abusive father also and h8 my mum for not leaving for our sakes at least earlier on cus she had a supportive brother and a home to stay in but didnt care so u be in that position and see
DeleteI agree, too many times I hear about a woman who is being physically abused by her husband or boyfriend and she has children. If you have children you place their well being above your own, its your responsibility to keep them safe. But if someone makes a bad choice and falls in love with someone she had no way of knowing he is abusive and something happens to her child then its not her fault. If the mother knows he is abusive and might hurt her kids but she loves him and doesnt want to leave and something happens to her child then yes it is her fault. But if she had no way of knowing and something happened then she should not be blamed, but be sympathized with and have others feel compassion for her.
ReplyDeleteI've spent the last year of my life getting an abusive husband out of my home. Leaving a situation like this is much more complicated and requires a lot more resources than people who haven't experienced it would believe!
ReplyDeleteMy husband treated me well for years, then became increasingly abusive as he developed mental health issues that he refused to treat. Me being abused wasn't because of an error in judgement on my part! It was because my husband managed to conceal his abusive tendencies until our lives were so enmeshed that there was no easy escape. Every time I see a news report about a woman or her child being battered to death, the question is always "why didn't she just leave?" now I think the answer is that a)she tried, and failed to pull it off because it's MUCH harder than you'd think. b) she felt she couldn't leave b/c the abuser had brainwashed her into believing he'd kill her or that she couldn't survive without him.
I can too easily imagine a woman gambling that she and her kids would be able to tolerate the abuse until she had an escape plan that didn't involve becoming homeless and losing custody of the kids (to the abuser or CPS) and losing that bet. Sure, there are domestic violence shelters, but moving into one pretty much means walking away from one's entire life and starting from scratch as a homeless person. Having to choose between subjecting your child to abuse or homelessness is a total crapshoot.
Let's put the blame where it belongs- on the abuser. Not some poor battered woman who's forced to choose from a variety of bad options!